at the end of the semester...
xinyi has been through a ride on rollercoaster this week. yup... particularly this week.
the last week of the semester has proved itself to be the toughest week of the semester. xinyi had 3 tests, 1 lab report, and 1 MIDI assignment due this week. tackling them could just be regarded as any other tasks. but what's tough was the emotional rollercoaster. your friend here screwed up her physical practical test on Monday. never did she know that the test is a replica. for umpteen times, she has been through this. the worries filled xinyi to the brim. she knew very well that she hasn't done well for analytical test, physical lab reports, physical test. now, the last and the final chance to have a goal and save the module... she lost it.
walking out of the test venue with the feeling of not owning the paper haven't been rare. the much crucial point is the battle with the low spirit while preparing for the core module test the very next day. xinyi kept thinking and thinking... "what went wrong?"
that feeling never leave xinyi alone. for the second time, she failed her organic synthesis test. for the first, she failed with the marks of 13 over 45. then, it came 10 over 40 for the second test. "what went wrong?"xinyi must admit that this semester is probably the semester that she really studied and paid attention in class. for the first time in 4 semester, she has 2 free days on wed and thu, that she spent her time keeping up with the modules. not only that, xinyi has tried her best to not have any backlog. then, "what went wrong?" something must have gone wrong. nothing happens without a reason. so much of struggles, xinyi still waits for an answer as she could no longer shrug it off her shoulders.
the emotion was hauled up from the lowest to the intermediate after the organic reaction mechanism test. she sort of redeemed herself in the test. probably the only regret is not being able to finish the paper. but as what xinyi will always say...
"i would rather be not being able to finish the paper than not knowing how to do it, for at least i know i'm not stupid."
and also xinyi would like to thank the friend who called near 11 when xinyi was trying to find a comfortable position on her bed. xinyi wouldn't have picked up the phone if it's not "Unknown" she is happy to know her friend as positive as ever and she wants to say "keep it up." then, after putting down the phone, xinyi told herself to be hopeful but realistic. and she turned herself into bed.
the last day of the toughest week and the last day of the semester came and past. it was an extraordinary day. xinyi made up her mind to attend organic synthesis extra lecture to know where had gone wrong in her answer. little did she know that her lecturer managed to salvage 3 marks for her. tho' xinyi must say that the 3 marks were probably given out of desperation, she is thankful. it's some sort of improvement from 13/45 to 13/40, but could be better. that's not greed. it's the spirit of excellence.
in addition, xinyi also gotten back her dunno-what's-going-on childhood and youth test paper. it was a consoling B.
xinyi's uber duper good lab partner msged her and said that he has something for her. at that very instant, xinyi thought that her lab partner found her 9 year-old pencil. nevertheless, it was still a pleasant surprise. her lab partner prepared an exam-welfare pack for her.
to end the day off, came the science of music end-of-term test. the last and the final test that seals the module and only to wait for results in late nov. xinyi feels that she owned it for she has tried her best.
all in all, no matter what had happened and how pain it could get,
xinyi could still end the semester with a...
ps: xinyi wrote the post with her name all over for she's learning to be detached from her emotions so that she could see her life much clearer. morrie says detached...
Blog-stalking has become more and more dispensible in my life.
Nevertheless, your blog is still the one that I always stalk.
I want to know, but I fear to ask, so I stalk.
To Heng Yuen, hmm hai Sum Yuen =)